Maybe Today But Not Tomorrow

Flatlined, but still breathing.

Dull thudding instead of wild music

ears

heart

leaden legs.

All is as it always is.

Give Peace a Chance

Give Peace a Chance

by Helen Barter

My bed is the same as yesterday.

Connections worm

the wider world unwittingly 

into my conscience,

but - 

my bed is a place to embrace

decisions made from knowledge

not ignorance.

Leave the door open on your way in.

Unrepentant

Unrepentant

by Helen Barter

Ugly self-pity gapes

as wide as the seagull's unrepentant beak.

Curtains billow and lift.

Comfort, abandoned 

along with my self-respect.

Cold, damp air on my skin, 

lifts the tiny hairs across the back of my neck

and I close my eyes.

Cold, dry tears on my face

harden in spite of myself.

Desire

Desire

by Helen Barter

The stash of secrets under my pillow

makes me ache with anticipation.

Dreams which once invited,

enticed me to slumber, 

now keep me awake with 

the proximity of unspoken promise.

To Have and To Hold

To Have and To Hold

by Helen Barter

From this day forwards,

the joy of ....

repetition.

Faithful fingers feel guilty, when,

functional touch ignites subconscious thought,

and you come with the shock of the new.

Night Time

Night Time

by Helen Barter

So tired.

Breath constricted.

Achingly tired with wide eyed

heart, heaving like imminent vomit.

Body rigid.

Too scared to move.

Throat too tight to cry out

and no one to hear.

Sleep-chased

coronary sobs of

night time memory.

Life

Life

by Helen Barter

Gripped so tight it shattered.

Bent in the lonely stoop of

picking up fragments of why,

the pieces are becoming familiar

at last.

Why

Why

by Helen Barter

Why am I still fighting.

Fighting for you, 

or against myself.

How can I tell you what 

I don't know.