Revisiting work from 30 years ago!!

I'm very pleased with the way my work is going. I'm still working on the screens, hopefully meeting up with David Stephenson, Artist Blacksmith, next week to talk about the structure of the forged corners and hinges. All the forging will be very obvious and exposed and an integral part of the design.

I am feeling so much happier with the design of the panels too. Gone are the rather obvious Hundertwasser inspired spirals (although they may make a comeback later). I have gone back to looking at a basically monochrome palette and the designs are inspired by pebbles, rock formation, core sampling and tidal erosion patterns.

Realising that the proportion of the screen panels is the same as the microscope slides I have been interested in for ages, was a real turning point for me. It meant that I could revisit my Darwin work, and find a new direction for some of images, which I felt at the time, still had mileage in them for me.

Everywhere I look now, I am seeing images which remind me of work I was doing during my degree (and that was over 30 years ago!) - the same marks, the same images and the same interests recur over and over. There MUST be a reason for this. I need to push on through these investigations, which might feel a little repetitive, and hope that I will find the reason. I've never really dedicated enough time to see where the ideas will lead me. Now IS THE TIME to do it . . . . . . 

Well, tomorrow. Now it's bedtime. Good night x

Eggs, Leaves and Eyes of Bees

Not a new spell or love potion, but the things that have been grabbing my attention over the last few days, and which have encouraged me to start doodling in a sketchbook/notebook again...

The eggs are fairly obvious and are a recurring theme in my work, along with pebbles. I've been working on a piece for a long time now called "baby blanket' which is about fertility and motherhood, and another called 'Design A Baby' which is about genetics and eugenics. 

The leaves have become a bit of an obsession (that's not like me!) and I'm looking into the cost involved in getting some screens made of some of my images,  but what about the eyes of bees?

Bees apparently have 5 eyes. The two big ones, which are compound eyes, and then three little ones in the top of their heads, called 'ocelli'. These are simple eyes, meaning they have one single lens (like ours) and they are designed to recognise light and dark, so helping the bees to navigate into and out of the hive.

I saw a microscope slide preparation from the 1860's of the ocelli of a hive bee: it was for sale on eBay. The pattern of the preparation could easily have inspired a 1950's fabric designer . . .  

During the slide preparation the ocelli themselves are destroyed to leave the three holes in the epidermis. The pointy end of the triangle would have been towards the front of the head. I was really sad not to be the highest bidder for this microscope slide, but it was obviously quite sought after. 

My new obsession - decomposing leaves

                               

                                           

                                 

                         

                              

                               

                              

                         

                           

   

                                      

Red Arrows in Scarborough

                                        

 

                                          

                                             

       

        

       

       

                                             

                                       

                                                    

      

      

A beautiful day

Saturday 29th June 2013

A shift in the world of Helen Birmingham

I had such a good day yesterday I want to write down how I felt . . . 

(In case the depression tries to steal the memory!)

                               

The Red Arrows display for Armed Forces Day in Scarborough was really inspiring - I realised that I could be part of the world, but on my terms. I didn't need to be in the rush and push of all the people in town, but neither did I have to miss out! That sounds really obvious when its written down, but it was a bit of a revelation.  

I found a secluded spot on the South Cliff, fairly near to the Italian Gardens and settled in for the show! Just stopping and sitting and waiting is something I'm not very good at. To begin with I fidgeted and fussed and was a bit grumpy - even decided that it was stupid to be just sitting there when there were other things to do, and did I really want to see the Red Arrows anyway - I've seen them before. I decided to go home - that's just what I do - but then I thought, well what are you going to do at home? Fidget and fuss and be really grumpy? 

I made a conscious effort to sit still and breathe - then I started to cry - without feeling embarrassed or guilty, without even really feeling sad. Just feeling safe and actually ok. Ok to look around and stop. Stop worrying about being self conscious- and the world just sort of opened up. 

 

And that was before the Red Arrows even got here!!

 

A very good day.  

Saturday 29th June 2013.

New work

Well I've actually been working at last - and it feels good. I have to be honest and say that I had no idea that I hadn't been working - probably for a year or so.  I've been doing stuff and filling my time but not actually engaging with anything. It's been a pretty tough time, and being on my own has been quite hard to get used to, but I'm getting there now. 

 

 I'm working on a new project, which is giving me some focus and direction, and actually seems to be drawing together lots of different strands of my work, which can only be good. It's surprising how things which I hadn't made links between, after a bit of a break, seem obviously to part of the same thought process.

Before my 'non move' to London, I was working on ideas related to what it is to be 'female', the role that needlework and quilting play in female history, together with my own reactions towards 'empty nest syndrome' and menopause. I had intended to apply for  place on the MA at The Royal College of Art in the Textile Department. For some reason, when I decided not to go to London, I also seemed to stop working, and to a large extent stop thinking! Just sort of vegetated for a while. (And no funny comments about not noticing the difference!). Vegetating, yet constantly doing stuff, keeping busy, but really destructively so. Now I realise that there is no reason why i cant carry on with the work I hoped to be doing on an MA, just without being at college! If it sells it sells. If not, I haven't compromised AGAIN. This time it's just me, why should I compromise!

Now I feel I've turned a corner in my life. 51 - post menopausal - empty nest - and single?

Bring on the phase of the crone. I'm ready for you!

Quilting on silk