MERRY CHRISTMAS

Advent by Helen Birmingham

Hark!

The herald angels are announcing

twenty four days to what?

A crescendo of anticipation with jingle bells 

tolling the final anticlimax.

Santas watching their 'flock-covered' plastic reindeer.

Festive velvety bloom with curled tinsel tails.

The cattle are lowing 

but the baby awakes to the

drip, drip, drip of the unreasonable expectation behind 

soggy cardboard windows.

Oh come all ye faithful clowns 

in your stupid clown hats.

Electronic trumpets and drums for the little drummer boy.

Toy trains and teddy bears.

Bouncing balls 

and candy canes.

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

The Winter Hibernation of a Mixed Media Artist

O

Yesterday was the last open day of the Studio Gallery for 2013. The Gallery will now become my sitting room for the winter, and will slowly undergo a transformation into "The Movement and Action of Worms" exhibition, which will be part of Coastival in February 2014. Lots of work to do, but 3 years preparation has gone into the planning of the exhibition, and I'm really excited to see the outcome.

I'm going into hibernation so that i can work on the exhibition, a commission and preparation for BCTF in Harrogate in April. All well defined projects, fixed end dates, and predictable outcomes. Just how I like to work. I will be around and about for my birthday weekend 6th December, and there is a musical evening at the gallery in january - details to follow - but essentially i am now out of circulation - not that anyone will notice probably!!!

And then, in the spring/early summer I hope to start working on the totally unpredictable result of one of the hardest personal  journeys I've been on.  The long saga of our property in Lockton, on the Moors near Pickering, came to a head a couple of weeks ago, with news that the sale had fallen through (again) and we knew we needed, at least, to "winterproof" the buildings. While organising that, my enthusiasm for the place, and its potential, just bubbled over again, so The Pantry at Lockton is about to undergo Plan 74:z stage (<iiii) part 109!

Hopefully working with a group of Ryedale artists, and with backing from the Parks Authority and the Parish Council, my husband, Rob, and I, are going to set up a Charitable Trust which will play host to a gallery and seasonal tearooms, run a weekend residential workshop programme, including Poetry, Art, Photography, nature studies, walking groups, and, and, and - with accommodation and activities for up to 6 guests. 

More work needs to be done on the building, and obviously there is a huge mountain of administration and planning to undertake, but Rob and I have re-gained our enthusiasm for Lockton - and each other - with 300 miles distance between us, and the next year will hopefully bear fruit in many aspects of our lives which we have struggled with. Watch this space.

So, until the Spring, you can keep in touch with me on my exhibition blog www.movementofworms.blogspot.com  x x. Have a great Christmas if i dont see you over my birthday weekend. X x. 

Commissions and Open Studios Application

 

This is a wallhanging which I made as a commission earlier this month. It seems to have been very well received, and i really enjoyed making it. I have now also been commissioned to make a screen and a window blind for another customer, as part of the decor in a newly refurbished cottage in Snainton.  I hadn't realised how exciting it would be to visit the client and measure, and design the product to suit the situation - but again, very happy with brief, and the quotation and specification sheets have been signed off this weekend by the client -  so full steam ahead. Delivery w/c 9th December. I'll post photographs as i go along.

Thanks to an impromtu chip butty in Lockton on Friday, I was made aware that the final deadline for North Yorkshire Open Studio 2014 applications is tomorrow!! (very grateful - thank you Sue!) Spent today putting my application together. I hope I am successful in being selected again. This year it will feel really good to be part of the scheme, with my screens and wallhangings. I will have BCFT Harrogate under my belt by then, and will therefore have a good product range to display and hopefully sell.

Work on my Darwin exhibition for Coastival goes on - but mostly in my head at the moment. I am anticipating getting a good long run at it over Christmas. The preparation has been 3 years in the making, so I am hopeful that the work itself will fall into place quite easily.  Once the current exhibition in the gallery is taken down next weekend I should be able to see some physical and mental space.

And then there is the Lockton situation.. . .  after a nightmare year with bad tenants, unsuccessful auctions and sadness at finally deciding to virtually give it away, our buyer has pulled out! Lots of soul searching and decision making has had to take place - but we have come up with another cunning plan, Firstly though, we need to weather-proof it against the winter. 

 

  . .  Watch this space for updates! 

 

Wallhangings at The Studio Gallery

Some of my wallhangings will be making their public debut at the Scarborough Poetry Workshop open mic night, tomorrow, 18th October 2013, from 7.30pm to 9.00pm. Please come -  EVERYONE WELCOME. If you like,  just be part of the audience. There's no pressure to perform. If you fancy giving it a go though, bring along your favourite poem to read aloud. It can be a published poem, or even better, one of your own!!!  

The Studio Gallery, 5 Belle Vue Parade, YO11 1SU

And while you listen or recite you can have a look at the wallhangings, which I am photographing for my website - soon to appear on www.helenbirmingham.com and BCTF Harrogate - April 2014.

Obsession

The end is always suprising.

Totally unforeseen

however often it comes.

Take the thread.

Sew with it.

Go with it.

There is no absolute.

Working towards BCTF at Harrogate 2014

Well I feel like I've taken on a huge commitment - But it's the incentive I needed to actually get a business up and running. 

Helen Birmingham - Contemporary Quilting. 

I'm busy making samples and setting up an online shop for TRADE customers.

The product which I'll be launching at British Craft Trade Fair in April 2014 is a versatile quilted panel design, broadly based on my studies into evolution and heredity. I am using natural fibres for the outside 'look' of the panels, but as a child of the 1960's I have a reminiscent sentimental love for Terylene wadding in eiderdowns and quilts. I am using 4oz wadding, which gives that wonderfully puffy, over-stuffed comforter feel.

Each panel begins life as a piece of linen measuring 18" wide by about 6ft long. I work the surface with the addition of appliqued and quilted fabrics, such as linen, hemp, wool, silk and cotton. I am particularly fond of hessian, jute and muslin with very open weave, the structure of which i can physically manipulate before stitching to the suface of the panel.

 I also really like the look of couched thread, string and wool. My favourite hand embroidery stitches are a plain running stitch, bullion stitch and a simple fly stitch. 

Once i am satisfied with the look or feel of the panel, and before using wadding or batting, or binding the edges, I make a decision as to the end product i wish to make. This either involves cutting the panel into smaller sections, for example for a cushion or a bag, or stitching panels together to form larger wallhangings or throws.

I think this will provide a versatile method of working. I have a very creative mind, and have acknowledged my constant need to keep moving forwards with ideas and projects. I believe that this method of working will mean that i can adapt ideas and design within a fairly stable framework. I will be able to make a 'stock pile' of panels, and then adapt them according to the orders i receive.  I am very happy with the progress of this project so far. I have my logo. I nearly have my on-line shop. I am making good samples, thinking about the 'look' of my trade stand, and have an information leaflet ready to send to printers.

Onwards . . . . . .  

The Shroud of Motherhood

Poetry and the written word has opened a rich seam of inspiration for me. I find i can express things in words which i can't in images. I have now begun to look at the interaction between the two art forms.

One fascinating example of this "cross-fertilisation" or to give it its proper title, ecphrasis, is the work of sculptor and poet, Pascale Petit. In 'What the Water gave Me' Pascale Petit speaks in the voice of Mexican Painter, Freda Kahlo. Each poem is an interpretation, or the voice of a specific Kahlo painting and shares its title with that painting. 

Taking this as a starting point, i have tried to use poetry to describe the feeling i had when looking at a piece of art. Janet White recently had an exhibition at The Studio Gallery called 'Transition'. Unbeknown to me, when she was taking the work down earlier in the week, she wrapped the wire sculptures in white plastic, to protect them during transit.  When i came back in the afternoon one of the figures appeared to be hanging in a shroud. This poem is my response.

Transition by Janet White

The Shroud of Motherhood

By Helen Birmingham

Blood red still flowing in a luminescent sac.

Old body catching stains 

Running in rivulets through folds of silk.

Perfumed whiteness hanging by a noose of thread.

Make It Up North

Going to 'Make it up North' a Contemporary Craft event in York yesterday was so good for me, on so many levels. Janilaine Mainprize and I went to listen to Dionne Swift talking about her work, and then we spent time looking round the rest of the exhibits followed by a lovely lunch in the Autumnal sunshine.

Dionne Swift - New Grounds

I've been having a tough time recently,  and having a day out, away from the studio and home was JUST what I needed, and I couldn't have wished for a better companion. What a treat to talk about sewing machines, fabrics, and pebbles with someone who genuinely shares an interest in it, and isn't just humouring me!    

janilaine mainprize - Pebbles

 I was particularly interested in using some of the day looking at how other artists set out their 'wares' and promotional materials at fairs and exhibitions. I am thinking particularly about how to display my work at BCTF in April.

Helen Birmingham - geology inspired

Dionne Swift's talk was interesting. Finding out about other artist's inspiration and career progression is always interesting, in a voyeuristic sort of way, but I can't say that it was the highlight of my day - how often is it that the thing you are looking forward to seeing feels is slightly disappointing - but then something totally unexpected blows you away? 

 That spot for me, yesterday, was taken by Helaina Sharpley, Wirework Artist.  Her kindness, and generosity in sharing good practice tips about setting up a craft business, orders, marketing, publicity etc was really invaluable. What a fantastic gift, thank you. AND her work is fabulous too! Www.helainasharpley.co.uk    There is a great article/interview about her on 

http://ukhandmade.co.uk/content/meet-helaina-sharpley

On to the show itself - the thing that struck me most, was the difference between the 'look' of many stands, and i tried to think about which ones stood out, for me, and why. I decided that, for me, those with an overriding theme or image worked best. One definitive style. Whether i liked the work or not was irrelevant really. If the stand was a 'display in itself' i was drawn to it. It isn't enough to just put your work out on plinths and stands. Dressing the stand seemed to be very effective. I will be thinking about how to make my stand at BCTF into a mini exhibition/experience.

When we were out buying and eating lunch we came across a gentle looking man, with a beard, slightly 'hippy' looking, with longish hair and 'easy to wear' comfortable clothes. He was carrying a sign which said "FREE HUGS". I availed myself of one of his hugs, and it was really really lovely. What a special service he was providing. I was moved by him and the idea of him. X x

All in all a very good day.

I've spent today thinking my about my brand image. Selling product and selling a ' Brand'  is a totally different business to making art or craft. Obvious really. But a hard discipline to get my head round, when i go into the studio and just want to 'make'.  I really think having distinct working areas will help me. IT, manufacturing, Research & Development, marketing - all different departments, all needing their own area and head-space.

Onwards . . . . . . 

Just Me

Just Me

By Helen Birmingham

Just me. The sea.

One wave forming the undercurrent for the next.

Urgent activity on the edges of solitude and loneliness.

Vast depths of rise and fall. 

Swell and crash.

One moment of glory and power become water. 

The waves rise then crash one after another

Another 

And another.

Rising then crashing.

The beauty goes on.

The danger goes on. 

The hurting goes on.

The powerful forward thrust doesn't diminish but

It goes nowhere.

Thoughts from The Studio Gallery

With funding cuts rife in the art world, it seems that many galleries, through necessity, treat commercialism as king. It is therefore really great to be able to put on an exhibition with an installation piece at its heart. I'm not saying choosing a non-commercial route is easy, or without its own costs, and without funding it's a difficult balancing act. But I feel genuinely privileged to be in a position to be able to show relevant, but not necessarily commercial work at The Studio Gallery.

This is what The Studio Gallery  is about. Facilitating and celebrating the success of emerging artists without overwhelming the gallery or the artists with  financial concerns. If you purchase work from The Studio Gallery, which i hope you will do, you should know that 100% of the money goes straight to the artist. The Studio Gallery believes it is important to ensure that the artist is involved in, and has experience of, every stage of the process of putting on an exhibition.  Once there is an awareness of the process, there can hopefully be a greater understanding between gallery and artist in the future.

The Studio Gallery's  aim is to be a place where artists and performers can be in charge of their own exhibition, in a safe, nurturing and friendly environment, before spreading their wings and tackling the big world outside of Scarborough. 

Being 51

There is just so much art to see in museums, collections and galleries; and every day the number of things I feel I ought to know about, or be aware of gets larger and larger. It is very easy for feelings of inadequacy to grow correspondingly bigger and bigger. I think this sense of being overwhelmed is what I meant at 21 when I embarrassingly said in my Royal College MA interview -  "I don't really like going to art galleries". 

 I don't think i could have explained what i meant back then,  even if I'd really thought about it, which I'm ashamed to say I didn't. At that time i was suffering from an appalling lack of education,  interest, enquiry, or ability to do anything more than just survive. As a young woman, wanting to "be an artist"  was a feeling that turned quickly into a rather poor attempt to 'fit in' by drinking too much, taking drugs and having inappropriate sex. My knowledge of "making a living" or even "having a plan" was shockingly poor,  but as the daughter of a progressive art educator in the 1970s I feel that i should have known. I should have shown an interest.  Not doing so has long been a source of shame and self doubt. Did I not listen, or could I not hear? I can understand why my mother called me ignorant; but actually I was just trying to cope in a world that I wasn't emotionally equipped to live in. 

My life was not intellectually driven in any way at that time. That has come later,  and  from that,  I am beginning to develop an interest in 'why' and 'how'. At 20 I was raped and very scared. My reaction to life from then on was one of self preservation; one of fear and wanting to hide, but desperately wanting still to 'fit in'.  I was incredibly lonely and  have remained so. With hindsight I am actually really pleased that my interest at that stage was not in the academic. If it had been  I may have found a dark corner to hide in. Instead, although I may have tortured myself for years,  all that time, even whilst kicking and screaming, I have been looking, listening and forming opinions. I may not have been confident or eloquent enough to express those opinions very well, but I'm facing my demons and I'm not afraid anymore.  I'm not afraid of me, or loneliness. Now I am confident in my ability to react to the world in my own way; as an artist; using texture, surface,  shape and intellectual challenge to interpret some of the wonder of what it means to exist. Being 51 with two failed marriages is actually ok.

Ariadne - part one

Trapped in life's lonely lair,

You  helped him to find his way.

Mapped his escape with your silken thread.

Let him tug on your heart string

By offering to weave your life with his.

But when Theseus sailed; cut you adrift,

You had no line strong enough to hold him.

The fabric of your love already pulled and frayed,

Now unravels as you watch him leave.

Adrenaline

It's not agoraphobia, it's adrenaline.

Ready for fright, flight or fight.

Look the world in the eye.

Challenge. Dare. Stare. 

Its not agoraphobia, it's adrenaline.

I'm not scared of you,  I'm scared of me.

Scared, scarred and lonely.

Fright, flight or fight is alright.

I'm safe, hand in hand with myself. 

Bacchus

Bound with ivy and dripping with honey

the beneficent wand of Bacchus

Fucked me up.

The Princess

Cinderella eat your heart out.

New rags and high heels.

Feeling like a princess

With a nervous pounding heart.

I held my head up high. 

Swallowed hard and walked in.

Stale beer stench in a smoke filled room.

Saw discarded rags and high heels.

Feeling like a princess

With a shocked and sickened heart.

She held her head up and swallowed hard.

I walked out.

Once Upon A Time - a generational fairytale - but not for the faint-hearted

Conceived in anger.

The King and Queen fought for her attention.

Fought for possession of the offspring princess.

He for love of him.

She for love of me.

But I couldn't feel her love,  

Only her disapproval.

The King held court.

None of it was the Queen's truth.

She was mute with her own frustrations.

Tempted away from the castle battlements

With false promises and testosterone,

The Princess thought she knew her own mind.

She'd get what was rightly hers; 

She'd get what she deserved.

She'd  get what she deserved.

whether she wanted it or not.

The King  had handed her the poisoned spindle.

And my father cried.

Tears for his first love. 

His first loss. 

Not mine.

Drunken sex in squalid squats and seedy motel  moats.

Flattered by the damp croakings of a randy frog.

I cried to my mother one night when i was drunk. 

She sat with me in silence and held my hand. 

But he'd told her that he loved her.

Surely he'd give her what she deserved.

The  princess was a frog-kissing prick-teaser

and he was her own true love.

Prince Charming.

Prince oh so charming.

I could hear my mother worrying that he would hit me.

He didn't hit.

So he must have been ok.

She was going to get what she deserved.

He didn't hit her so it must have been ok.

She wanted to leave him but 

He cried. 

Told her how much he loved her.

He'd never find anyone else like her.

He'd got more than he deserved. 

He loved me.

I was his princess.

Frog-kissing, cock-sucking princess.

Her carriage turned back to pumpkin, and

the horses turned back to mice.

Her dress in tatters and shoeless when Prince Charming raped her.

My mother sat in silence and held my hand.

Normal service will be resumed

If the stuff in my head 

is my stuff,

I can 

sort

 it.

It's just stuff.

It's my stuff

I'll sort it.

But the stuff that I was holding in my head was your stuff.

Not my stuff. Not good stuff.

Your stuff.

I don't want it any more than you did.

Suspended for over 30 years

Normal service will be now be resumed.

What's that?

Oh yes, 

It's me.

And my stuff!

Bear Pit

The bear in the pit is not so scary if you take a closer look.

I found sympathy for the bear.

The fear is in my head. 

The only thing left in the bear's pit is 

a sad tortured bear.

Dark

There's dark and light when it's light.

But when it's dark, it's dark. Not night.

Night doesn't follow day.

Night can be light as the day can be dark.

Stop the noise, dark or light!

When it's dark, it's dark. Not night.

Daisy Chain

Standing shoulder to shoulder with my sisters.

The sun forces only my unique whiteness into your eye.

The majestic sweep of green blurs as I shoot into stark focus.

Virginal but with a tinge of pink around my yellow heart.

Others whose whiteness took your eye 

Hang  limp and lifeless between your thumb and finger.

Admired, chosen. Plucked. 

A thumbnail forced through their soft flesh.

Another's stem driven into their core.

I want to be the chosen one.

But can i risk a thumbnail through my heart.

Work on my my new screen project

I'm really enjoying myself at the moment. It's the first time in literally years that I feel engaged with my work. I have a plan. I'm working towards that plan, and feel good.

Parts of what I'm doing really remind me of some of the work I did for my degree show, nearly 30 years ago.  I've finished 2 of the panels now and started the third. With the newly made framework made out of dowel I am starting to really see where this is going. And I like it!!

My new studio space is proving very conducive to work. The studio in the attic will be a playground for ideas. How lucky am I? Things are going well. X x 

STUFF (and nonsense)

Well where to start? I have been swamped by 'stuff' for years. This 'stuff' has been following me around since I sold my own house and opened a shop called 'That Arty Place' in Faversham, Kent. 

That Arty Place was a craft shop, packed full of goodies. My customers used to call it an Aladdin's cave or a sweetshop (without the calories).  I also had a large workshop, where I held craft classes for groups of up to 12 people, and every weekend held at least 2 children's craft-based birthday parties. And don't forget I had a house-full of ordinary household 'stuff' as well.  I rented That Arty Place because the exchange on the shop and flat i had been buying fell through. I had terrible problems with the landlord, and ended up taking him to court (but that's a different story!). The bottom line was that even though the shop was a success, I couldn't sell the business on as a going concern.  I had a sale for weeks before closing down, and was virtually giving stuff away, but there was still an awful lot of 'stuff' including all the fixtures and fittings which I owned.

When we got married, we bought a new house, and effectively moved two house-loads of 'stuff' PLUS all the 'stuff' from the shop into it. Rob had his own unique brand of 'stuff' as well. We had 5 bedrooms, a large attic, a double garage, 3 garden sheds and my studio in the garden and still we didn't have room to breathe for all the 'stuff'. When I first moved to Scarborough I left the 'stuff' in Kent, and felt free for the first time in ages. I forgot i had 'stuff'. I only had the 'stuff' I wanted, and began to enjoy the novelty of acquiring new 'stuff'. MORE stuff. But then we sold the house in Kent, and bought a tiny, damp house with a dilapidated shop attached in Lockton. All the 'stuff' I had left behind, and happily put out of my mind, came back to me. Not only my own stuff, but also a lot of other 'stuff' which wouldn't fit into Lockton! 

The Studio Gallery had become a depository for 'stuff'. Not stuff that was wanted. Not stuff that was even really useful. Just the detritus of life, and 'stuff'.

We went about refurbishing and refurnishing the property and shop in Lockton. You guessed it. More 'stuff'. When Lockton failed, for various reasons, we rented a house in Castle Crescent - fully furnished!!! Then we all moved into The Studio Gallery. All of our 'stuff' in one place. Under one roof. One 5 floor house, stuffed top to bottom with stuff.

To be continued . . . . .  

Fairy Tales and Happy Endings

Fairytale endings and love's true kiss.

I want to watch without crying.

Life is supposed to be a comedy for fuck's sake!  

But even Laurel & Hardy makes me cry.

Because 

its 

just 

not 

funny.